Naptime Half-Baked

What’s that?  You’re planning to do something while your child naps???  SHUSH!!!!!  Don’t say it out loud!  In fact, don’t even think it.  Don’t you even dare to put your plans out there in the universe.  Why not, you ask?  WHY NOT???  Because those precious little babes will somehow find out that you NEED to do something while they are resting and will drop kick your plans from here to Thursday.

Oh sure, I hear you, “That’s ridiculous!  Babies don’t know your plans!  They sleep when they’re tired!”  Look.  I know it’s crazy.  And I don’t know how they know.  I just know that they know, okay?

Maybe they can sense the anxiety of a parent in need of a break.  Kind of like a predator in the wild smells fear.  I’m sure not ALL babies come endowed with such talents.  But in my experience a well planned day that includes a list of things that MUST GET DONE during baby’s sleep time, means there will be NO BABY SLEEP TIME.  At least not until early evening, then they will fall asleep for 25 minutes, just enough to ensure they are climbing the walls until midnight.

I see you’re still rolling your eyes.  Fine.  I will give you an example to prove my point.

On Friday, I had several things I needed to accomplish.  I needed to pay bills and catch up on paperwork (desperately).  And I had also committed myself to making fifty brownies to help feed a group of volunteers.  The brownies had to be delivered at 5:15 sharp.  Of course, when I volunteered I envisioned myself delighting the crowd with ooey-gooey scratch baked deliciousness.  When it came down  to the wire, I ended up with five boxes of store bought mix sitting on my counter, waiting to be combined with eggs and oil.  Well, sometimes you just can’t do everything.  Anyhow, all I had to do was make the mix into brownies.  An easy peasy chore for nap time and I would pay bills while they baked.

Sounds like a plan, right?

So, nap time came and went with one problem, Dash would not fall asleep.  Still, I was hopeful.  He surely had to fall asleep soon!  Okay, so it ends up being past lunchtime and I still have not so much as had a shower.  FINALLY!  He falls asleep in my arms.  I lay the little angel down and run to get myself cleaned up.  Surely he must be extremely tired and will sleep a good long while.

No sooner do I turn the water on, I hear crying.  Make that screaming.  “It’s not possible”, I think.  Must be the sound of the water… echoing, or the pipes.  Screaming pipes.  Hmmm…  I turn off the water.  Nope, it’s really Dash.  Go in his room and he’s sitting there looking pitiful with tears streaming and wild hair as though he’s been sleeping for hours. Poor baby, maybe a bad dream. (Although is it even possible to be that far into a sleep cycle in less than 10 minutes?)  I try laying with him thinking SURELY he will fall back asleep.

No. Such. Luck.

Now the problem with a baby who hasn’t gotten a good nap under his belt is that he is CRANKY.  There is no pleasing a tired child.  You cuddle him, he arches and squirms.  You set him down, he goes boneless and shrieks.  You offer him food, he throws it.  You offer him a drink, he dumps it.  You give him toys, he hits you in the head with them.

But, I have run out of time.  I have slightly over ONE HOUR before I have to leave to pick up Finn from school.  If I don’t have brownies in the oven in 20 minutes they will not be done before I need to jet.

Here is where my own stupidity comes in.  Instead of going the easy (normal) route and putting the brownies in pans, I decided to make them into single servings by baking them in muffin tins with silicone liners.  And since I only have enough equipment to do 24 servings at a time, I basically made what could have been an easy couple of trays of brownies into a huge hours long ordeal.  Why???  I have no idea!!!  It seemed like a good idea at the time.

So, here I am having set Dash down in the kitchen and there is NOT A SECOND TO LOSE!!!  He is whiny at first but soon enough he is amusing himself and I am off and running, scooping the batter into the liners.  I look out of the corner of my eye and Dash is in the pantry.  Oh, great, he is opening containers and has found bags of dried heirloom beans.  (Yes, there is such a thing.)

Please, Dash, please do not dump out those beans!!!  He is shaking them and trying to figure out the zip lock.  I would love to stop and take the beans from him, but that would cost precious seconds.  Oh, thank goodness he put them down.  But, wait, he now has a box of Seven Grain Pilaf.  He opens it, dumps the grain pouch onto the floor where we take off our shoes and chucks the box at me with reckless abandon.  Next, he moves on to the garbage can.  “DASH!  STAY OUT OF THE GARBAGE!!!”

His attention is diverted.  Uh oh, he is coming towards me.  OUCH!  Now he steps on my foot to make himself a little taller.  He is putting all his weight squarely on one of my metatarsals and it is far more pain than you would think such a small being could inflict.  His little fingers are patting around on the edge of the counter, trying to find something to grab.  But both of my hands are involved in the brownie making industry and cannot be distracted from their task!  I try to wriggle my foot out from under him without making him fall, but I can’t so I just have to endure the pain until he gives up and moves along.  Ah, relief.

I narrowly meet my deadline for getting brownies in the oven.  And after slaving over box mix treats until 4:50 pm, we are ready just in the nick of time to deliver them.  They look like sunken cupcakes with no frosting.  Brilliant.

And guess who falls asleep in the car on the way to drop off the brownies and gets his second wind to last him until 11pm?

So, I think you see what I mean about planning to do things while the baby is napping.  Or you just see that I have no time management skills and that little boys are not the only ones creating chaos around here.  Whichever.


This photo depicts a reenactment of actual events. No heirloom beans were harmed in the process.

This photo depicts a reenactment of actual events. No heirloom beans were harmed in the process.



  1. Rebekah says:

    True….true… you have met my son then? 😀 We call those 25 min power naps a “partial charge” and we know well the danger they pose.

  2. Its so true!

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