Predictable

Hey there!  Remember me?  Yeah, it’s been awhile.  I’ve been up to stuff.   Oh you know, this and that…

Why, I’ve been doing some baking…

It is easy to make bread. Making edible bread is the real challenge.

It is easy to make bread. Making edible bread is the real challenge.

Well, some of it was edible.  I will have to try again.  And again.  And then we won’t have any bread for 3 weeks.  And then I’ll say “Forget it!” and I’ll buy bread again.  But would you believe I even ground my own flour from wheat berries?  I felt so Little House On The Prairie.  What?  The Ingalls didn’t use a Vitamix to grind flour?  Are you sure?

Anyways, I’ve also been doing some crafts:

Looking to good ol’ Pinterest, I found various sites that led me to believe making a burlap wreath would be EASY and take less than 20 minutes.  Three hours later there were shreds of burlap everywhere.  I could feel it in my ears.  No one warned me that personal protective equipment was needed in order to prevent the inhalation of microscopic threads of burlap.  So, I’m warning you now.  Burlap is a hazardous material.  And Hobby Lobby has great prices on it.  You’re welcome. OH, and I will also inform you that a burlap wreath makes a lovely Bug Home at this time of year.  Overall, I’m happy with how the wreath came out.  And I have a feeling the cockroaches are even happier.

Burlap Bug Home

You know who HAS been doing some writing around here?  Beau and Finn.  Many of you are already familiar with Finn’s critically acclaimed short story, Blue Poop.  Well, as I already announced on Facebook, he’s working on the sequel.

Blue Poop

Lest you think we have been negligent in our parental guidance, we HAVE been encouraging both of the boys to broaden their horizons and explore topics outside of the Poop Fiction genre.  Seriously, they have not disappointed.  Beau is delving into non fiction writing, taking on the challenge of being informative AND entertaining.  Take for example, his recent  work “Body Explorers:  The Butt Part”.  Very informative and only mildly disturbing.  Why, just check out this page which explains the proper use of toilet paper.

Very informative

What?  You already knew how to use toilet paper?  Well, it may seem self explanatory, but I have known some people who could use *ahem* some refinement in this area, and I can’t think of a better way to get the message across.  In fact, I’m going to order extra copies.

So, yes, great literary classics are being produced under my very roof.  But me?  Writing???  Not. So. Much.

You know, I read before that the average blog lasts 6 months.  Around that time, you either dig in or throw in the towel.  Out of curiosity,  I took a peek at when I started The Ordinary Chaos site.  My first post was 4/30/13.  The last post I did was 10/28/13.  One, two, three…. Seriously???  How can I be so predictable???  Disappointing.  Being a quitter is one thing, but being a predictable quitter is a whole new low.  Anyways, here I was, ready to join the ranks of the Towel Throwers, when the fan messages started pouring in.  “Bring back the blog!!!”

…Okay, that didn’t really happen.  But there was one message from a family member, and I do take requests.   Besides, I know y’all were missing this face:

Dash Age 2Yup, Dash is TWO now.  Terribly, wonderfully Two, with all Two’s messes and tantrums and snuggles and giggles.  He talks really well now, and by that I mean he says things like “I luh loo”.  Melts my heart.  <3

So I’ll try to keep writing.  Because I never quit while I’m ahead.  I only quit when I’m really far behind and haven’t a shred of dignity left.  Besides that Facebook can’t contain my run on sentences.  And because I know y’all really benefit from me telling you how not to bake bread and how not to decorate and how not to get your kids to write about things that aren’t poop.  I cannot decide if that even makes any sense, but if you’re still reading this, it’s not because you’re overly attached to things making sense.  Anyways, I’ll be back soon with more of The Chaos.

Luh loo all,

Jen

 

Comments

  1. We love your blog … Don’t know about your bread ?

  2. You are so witty. I enjoy reading about your life. It feels like an enjoyable cup of coffee with my favorite eggnog creamer and curling up with a good book. Keep it up, you are not only keeping yourself sane but giving us all a laugh which certainly brightens anyone’s day.

  3. Mrs. Yeater says:

    I am glad to hear that you are keeping busy. Poop is a very popular subject, it seems, when young and again as we age. At least they haven’t yet figured out the fun one can have with flaming rolls of toilet paper.
    As regards your bread, the Mister tells me that the kneading of these breads is very important to breaking up air pockets. I will occasionally grind my own oat flour or corn flour with the mortar and pestle I received as an anniversary gift. Of course, it means that I only grind as much as I need.
    Keep up the good work. Blogging can be a time consuming and challenging hobby.

    • Thanks, Aimee! Yes, sometimes I feel like my sense of humor has regressed to that of a 7 year old boy. Let’s hope the flaming toilet paper roll day never comes, although I never experienced that one myself so I might be tempted to take part. 😉 I think what happened with the bread is that it said to flatten it with a rolling pin and then roll it up. I let the boys help with that and maybe it did not get rolled tight enough! Also this loaf was bigger than the other two and needed a bit longer in the oven. Now the mortar and pestle, that is the Prairie way to do it! We got the Vitamix for our anniversary this year. It is easy and quick, but trust me, the mortar and pestle is easier on the eardrums. Sounds like a jet plane taking off from the counter top! Good to hear from you! 🙂

  4. Cyndi Szalma says:

    Love your blog Jennifer, it makes me smile. 🙂

  5. Kenan Wollborg says:

    Jennifer, I love your blog it helps us feel like the distance between our front doors is shorter 🙂
    Give everyone our love, K and L

  6. Luh loo too 🙂 Keep writing!

  7. Re: poop.
    It happens.

    Re: bread. The best, easiest, never-fail recipe for my household is “Minimalist No-Knead Bread”. http://www.nytimes.com/2006/11/08/dining/081mrex.html?_r=0

    It even seems a little easier for folks to digest since it ferments for 24 hours. It’s idiot proof!

    🙂

    • Thanks for the recipe, Carrie! Idiot proof is exactly what I need. 🙂
      Whenever I hear other people’s kids talking about poop I’m like “Yes! At least mine aren’t the only ones!” Ha! …Oh brother, they are talking about pooping right now. Time for bed, lol.

Trackbacks

  1. […] you may be thinking. “Well, what on Earth are you an expert in?  We know it’s not baking bread, Miss Wheatberry!”  SO, I am not an expert at baking bread.  But I AM the expert on my own […]

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